Every year, the kids’ school will hold a 3-way conference
on the first term where three parties- teacher, parent and student- are sitting
together to discuss the kid’s performance over the past term and agree on a set
of objectives to work on. While at the
end of the second term, a student-led conference will be held where the student
will take lead in sharing his work over the year.
Yesterday I just attended both kids' 3-way conference
which I always find it is a very fruitful way in adding to the missing element
of the traditional “parents’ day” run by local schools. Recently, this subject
is raised by a local teacher in a recent
SCMP article which says “In a
calm atmosphere, with a report card between us, the parents and I face each
other and have deep and sincere conversations about the teenager we both
cherish. But where is the student?”…..
but they do not shed
light on what actions the students volunteer to take to hone their study skills
or the targets they will commit themselves to achieve. “
The 3-way-conference has nicely added to this missing
element.
For both of my kids, report cards are taken home two days
prior to the 3-way conference day. It allows both parent and kids have a prior
conversation at home to discuss their results. We parent is also required to
fill in a form of “3 star and 1 wish” for my kid. While kids at school are also
required to fill in a reflection of their own performance and write down what
do they think they should work on.
On the day of the conference, parent can start sharing
their three stars and 1 wish to the kids or voice out their questions on the
teachers’ comment on the report card. Then kids will share their own thoughts
with parents and teachers. At the end, they will agree on some priority and
goals that students should focus and work on for the coming term.
For my son, both his homeroom teachers and I agree that
he is doing great on his academic area while he need to be more focus and
enhance his self-management skills. While he reflected that he would like to
work on his social and communications skills. After we pointing out his weakness
in self-management skills, my son willingly admit and agree that he should work
on it as a priority. He will write his work neatly, not to be distracted and more
conscious on taking care of his belongings. In front of teachers and parent, my
7-year-old son got very serious and solemnly promised us that he’s going to be
more focus and improve his self-management skill next year.
While for my daughter, I’m amazed to find that she wrote
down “I didn’t put 100% efforts in doing my homework cos’ I got distracted by
the longing to play sooner” I am happy to see that she is able to share this
openly and have discovered her own weakness. So both myself and the teacher expressed on the
spot on how she can tackle it and be more focus.
When back home during the rest of term, I can easily
remind the kids whenever I find them are losing track of the promise they made.
All in all, the entire 3-way-conference process is
meaningful and worthwhile for student to reflect upon. Learning is not only
knowledge acquisition but how all three parties – parent, teacher and student-
could have an open and frank discussion to help the kids learn and grow.
Omitting the students’ participation in such a review process is a real waste
to the growth of kids.
